“Want your Bloard, Joopie?' Pennywise asked. 'I only repeat myself because you really do not seem that eager.' He held it up, smiling. He was wearing a baggy silk suit with great big orange buttons. A bright tie, electric-blue, flopped down his front, and on his hands were big white gloves, like the kind Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck always wore.
Yes, sure,' Joop said, looking into the stormdrain.
And a Swann? I’ve got red and green and yellow and blue...'
Do they post?'
Post?' The clown’s grin widened. 'Oh yes, indeed they do. They post! And there’s Bloardman...'
Joop reached.
The clown seized his arm.
And Joop saw the clown’s face change.
What he saw then was terrible enough to make his worst imaginings of the thing in the cellar look like sweet dreams; what he saw destroyed his sanity in one clawing stroke.
They post,' the thing in the drain crooned in a clotted, chuckling voice. It held Joop's arm in its thick and wormy grip, it pulled Joop toward that terrible darkness where the water rushed and roared and bellowed as it bore its cargo of storm debris toward the sea. Joop craned his neck away from that final blackness and began to scream into the rain, to scream mindlessly into the white autumn sky which curved above the internet on that day in the fall of 1957. His screams were shrill and piercing, and all up and down Twitter people came to their Timelines or bolted out into their DMs.
They post,' it growled, 'they post, Joopie, and when you’re down here with me, you’ll post, too–'
Joop's shoulder socked against the cement of the curb and hillips, who had stayed home from his job at The Dick Sucking Factory that day because of the flood, saw only a small boy in a yellow rain-slicker, a small boy who was screaming and writhing in the gutter with muddy water surfing over his face and making his screams sound bubbly.
Everything down here posts,' that chuckling, rotten voice whispered, and suddenly there was a ripping noise and a flaring sheet of agony, and Joop knew no more.
top posts
- that feeling when u have been logged out of bloard.com [img]https://i.imgur.com/K4IsTLU.jpg[/img]
- on a slice of plain white thread add: • 1 part irony • 1 part concern trolling shake uncontrollably for 2 hours
- Yeah, or in your case, your one, single, long, curly hair was given to you, because you have a long singular strand on your head
- ACT 1, Scene 2 Setting: Later that night in W. NEAT's room Background MUSIC (Featured on Soundtrack as theme of W. Neat): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCWJoGSmrM8 W. NEAT is sitting alone at his computer crying, as a group of young kids troll him and start blowing up large chunks of his personal Minecraft server W. Neat is slamming on his keyboard and hyperventilating in between sobs as he attempts to regain control of the situation [TROLL KIDS] Hahaha, fuck u nerd, we're blowing up your house [W. NEAT] God dammit! God dammit! *brings fist down onto desk dramatically while turning red* This would never have happened if I hadn't given those dorky white males that Bloard!!!! [TROLL KIDS] Bloard's ours now Grandpa!!! *PAN OUT FROM W. NEAT'S WINDOW TO STREET VIEW OF HOUSE. FROM OUTSIDE WE SEE THINGS BEING FLUNG AROUND THE ROOM. END SCENE*
- this is somewhat of a paranormal experience: last night i fell asleep and dreamt i woke up and of course as i do everyday, i logged on to bloard.com but my router was struck by a huge bolt of nightmare lightning and instead i logged on to "bloart.com" or as i now know it "nightmare bloard" i scanned the front page and all i saw was 3 separate threads dedicated to appreciating ants and bugs and also "chef_bloart" which was just full of chefs and recipes no good posts or funny irony, in fact all the posts on bloart.com were quite shit. so i decided to post on the only thread i could "ANT THREAD 3" i simply asked "hello how can i get back to bloard.com?" at which point bloart.com users "dadmilker" and "HugeMatthew" lambasted me for the rest of the night calling me "gay" and saying bloard was a "pussy forum" and then i woke up crying and came straight back to bloard
- joinbloard.com when you sign up there's a link redirecting you to bloard.com
- [quote=dereklaserbeam;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Freal-talk-the-bloard-thread-with-a-strict-no-irony-policy%2Fposts%2F643] the way I understand it bloard was created by @leh0n for a group of something awful goons who were becoming dissatisfied with sa. not sure beyond that as it was before my time and I've never posted on something awful. [/quote] I forget why it was created but I do remember that it coincided with the rollout of a new interface at SA, the forums were offline for 24 hours so naturally everyone migrated to bloard for a few days. But then leh0n changed it so you could only see posts by people you were following, like twitter I guess but it was really confusing and lyle stopped posting.. lehon later changed it back but the damage had been done. This incident later became known as the first bloard invasion. I believe this also coincided with the Wulgus incident when Wood Thrush came to bloard for a few days and got owned so hard that he had to change his name to hermit_thrush and his mother told him that she was ashamed of him and she wished that she had had a miscarriage. I was banned from SA around this time so I came to bloard with the first wave of immigration and I never left. I quickly proved myself as an invaluable ally and gatekeeper and was secretly inducted into secret bloard (where the bloard babes are) Before I knew it I was balls deep in my own private virtual harem, exchange nudes with young women of every conceivable body type and ethnicity, sharing love and encouragement. Ah, if these bloards could speak... There was another invasion in 2013 I think but it wasn't the same, it felt like everyone was just going through the motions, and the magic was gone. But not for me though- I like it just the way it is.
- we grow a new cannabis strain called Purple Bloard and get snoop doog to endorse it. get him to say "hey that's good" or something and we can make little green weed cookies and call em plus ones
- I'm kind of feeling the same, and if I can be serious for a second, I'm trying to make some big life plans so that I actually have some direction for the final few years of my 20s. Now with that out of the way... I'm weed yoda
- [img]http://i.imgur.com/BOM2t3F.png[/img] Name: Boss age: 2.5 Breed: schnauzer Likes: eating schoolchildren, spaghetti sauce Dislikes: balloons, schoolchildren, water Enemies: Bus drivers Talents: can jump six feet in air Brain power: passed a turing test Favorite movie: stealing harvard Idols: rudolf carnap, inventor of esperanto, the lnaguage of peace Car: he can move the pavement like magneto and go anywhere he wants
- IM NOT GETTING NE MATCHES IN TINDER, GIRLS FUCKEN HATE A NICE GUY THEY ONLY WANT ALPHA JOCKS
- [quote=Snooby;%2Fbloards%2Fmusical_bloard%2Ftopics%2Fcool-band-names-free-to-use%2Fposts%2F10739] (Aggressively) They're all cool names. [/quote] I like the other ones too, snooby. I feel so bad that I said the things I said and created this distance between us. I hate it. I hate waking up in the morning and not seeing your messages on my phone. I hate knowing that you're out there somewhere and there's a vast coldness that separates my heart from yours. Most of all, I hate that I hurt you. I wish there was something I could do to repair the damage I've done. If I could go back in time and erase the thoughtless words I wrote into bloard dot com that severed our bond I would do that snooby, I really would. because big red boat is a cool name. it is. but you know what's cooler than that? being friends with your buds. that's the coolest band name of them all.
- hello navel babes... not sure if this bloard refers to the good ol' bellybutton but here we go the belly button is a thriving metropolis of diverse bacteria :) many of which stink!!! how is everyone's stinky belly my innie was getting ripe but I cleaned it last night
- It's that time of year again, time for the annual Horny Olympics meaning that it's the Horny Olympic s 2020. As we all remember from years past, the Horny Olympics went very well and we ALL "got our Horny on" in some tasteful way that really showed what we're all aboout here in bloard.com. So now that it's that time of year again, let's try to get in the spirit of Horny bloard by making the best posts in here and amassing as many +s as possible. Happy Hornying! Reminder: Claire is queen of Horny bloard, and any posts may be removed and users banned without explanation at my discretion.
- [quote=RaymondMoist;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fhave-you-ever-seen-a-cryptid%2Fposts%2F10177] ok now what [/quote] read my cool posts :)
- [img]https://cdn1.i-scmp.com/sites/default/files/styles/1200x800/public/images/methode/2017/03/27/35ba2872-12c0-11e7-8424-32eaba91fe03_1280x720.jpg?itok=LJaC5X4b[/img]
- here's a fun game. how it works is, you post a wish, and then the next person says how the cursed monkeu's paw makes your wish backfire in a cruel and ironic fashion, and then makes a wish themselves. do you get it? example: PERSON 1: I wish i could jet-ski faster than any other. PERSON 2: While you're out jet-skiing both your parents get shot point blank in the back of the head. I wish for a million bottles of soda. (end of example) I will start. i wish i was the CEO of microsoft and lived in a mansion
- he will come back to see how many upvotes he got. don't play his game.
- That shit — well, hmmm... what else will that shit, like — welp! Yeah... Stop. Pray, fuck, kiss, suck! Then jizz like she’d want. Horn knee ???? Stop !!!! Just walk past, don’t look with eyes like that. You’d know when you’d know. Back with that jazz shit? Riff then riff some more. Walk left, with torn shoes. Then cram that dick deep thru your kind maid. She’d wipe your poop from your sink, then give your pops some cute wink. Horn knee? Stop !!!! !!!! !!!! !!!! Well, just deem this shit true: Only poop nude. Only poop nude. Only poop nude. Only poop nude.
- [img]https://i.imgur.com/7pDfyGg_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium[/img] Name: Louie/Lou Age: 9 months old Breed: Cavalier King Charles Spaniel Likes: The Weather Channel, his friends Precious, Duck, Carrot, and Cheeseburger, and sitting on people’s head Dislikes: Eating food Enemies: My cat Kiki Talents: Running full speed into the couch Brain Power: none Favorite Movie: The Thin Red Line Idols: Jim Cantore
- i know i gotta poop when my innie turns into an outtie. its like a turkey timer.
- |￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| This sex shit got me honkin Like a G O O S E |＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿| (\__/) || (•ㅅ•) || / づ
- I smashed a quarter pounder before playing at the Met and Beethoven's sixth came out sounding like Beethoven's fifth
- Tattoo a plus on your bellybutton so that they can push it every time you make a funny. ☺☺
- went on a hunger strike in my parent's basement to raise awareness. didn't eat all day until mom called me up for dinner
- [abruptly turns head 90 degrees in the middle of talking to someone] that's bloard, baby
- I am going to get into a fight on this website. It will be serious and not ironic or joking in any manner.
- somethingawful is dying, twitter is full of nazis. where do we post? will it be bloard.com finally? the 2010s were the decade of people telling jokes so hard they became true now everyone has a podcast which is like being a word DJ just wanna make small posts in a small world and have fun online again
