w hy did you put a human in front of you when taking picture lol

ACT I, SCENE I SETTING: Late Summer 1986, Miami, Shortly after DUSK BACKGROUND MUSIC: https://soundcloud.com/ubiktune/manwe-rotagilla A group of YOUNG WHITE MALES are walking out of a movie theatre after seeing the opening of Blue Velvet. They are walking towards the COFFEE SHOP on the street corner, talking about how terrible of a director David Lynch is. Character W. NEAT is standing out front of the COFFEE SHOP. W. NEAT is wearing a black leather duster. He is an anthropomorphic frog. He is wearing sunglasses. The background behind him is the color #D5D9F6. The YOUNG WHITE MALES walk by W. NEAT. W. NEAT has a grin in his face. [W. Neat] (To YOUNG WHITE MALES) Hey fellas, i got this new shit right here. You guys ever hear of the shit called... Bloard...? [WHITE MALE 1] (Adjusting his white, patterned do-rag and large-rimmed glasses) Are you saying "War"? [W. Neat] Bloard. It's the [i]good shit[/i]. [WHITE MALE 2] Bloarg? Is that like, a Board for zombies? (chuckles) (YOUNG WHITE MALES ALL GIGGLE) [W.Neat] (Smiling) Trust me guys. (Opens Black Leather Duster to reveal several GREEN PLUS SIGNS). See these, boys? (YOUNG WHITE MALES' eyes get wide at sight of GREEN PLUS ONES) [W. NEET] (smiles again) Ah, so it looks like i have some customers, [i]si?[/i] [Ed. note: "si" is an Italian word] [WHITE MALE 1] (With slightly crossed eyes and somewhat dumbstruck open mouth) W..where did you get those...hot things, man? [W. Neat] (Looks at camera, Winks) That's all on Bloard, baby. END SCENE

no. fuck off.

in aout 30 minutes. really excited. i love sleeping. it's like being dead. i love being almost dead. imitatively dead. it's super good. i can't wait. every night before i go to bed i do the moves to get ready to pretend to be almost kind of dead. i palm slam my alienware laptop shut and right there i start doing the sleepwalk to the bathroom. making swishing sounds when i gargle up some Listerine or even sometimes the generic, off-brand meijer stuff. not many are interested in the kind of sleep i'm into. i am. i don't normally brag about it especially on bloard, mostly because i respect other bloarders (except derek whatshisface) because they are all respectable and totally not shit humans. i am very familiar with death and i've learned how to accept that i'm a totally lost idiot and staring at the ceiling every night in terror of growing older without an end goal or anything i'm proud of in life is the antithesis of how to solve my problems. i only sleep a few hours total a week because i wake up constantly from nightmares of being stuck in the same place for the next 60 years with nothing to leave behind. then i lift.

[quote=blandkidneystone;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fbloard-conspiracies%2Fposts%2F6098] I havnt posted in a while and im uncreative and have a dull sense of humor so this is wht i came up with. [/quote] wow really hits home man anyway here's a conspiracy theory: the guy that has the twitter handle @wowneat isn't actually me. he must have grabbed my handle after i jumped ship around 2012ish after i broke up with my gf at the time and got really really depressed about it. just wanted to posit that as a conspiracy. it'd be big if true.

Hello, I just wanted to say thank you all for another successful year of somehow remaining relevant, or at least not letting the domain name expire. It's been over half a decade since the original Bloard incarnation hit the 'net. Can you believe it! So many posters come and gone, amongst the notable being Treebro (QEPD), Dril, Virgin, Dogboner, Thrush, Skylark*, dinosaurjerk, Brendle, and leh0n (QEPD). It's been a mild ride, with occasionally the wind bringing in some post-trash occasionally, with a moderate dusting of humour, enough to make one accidently sneeze a chuckle or, at best, a "heh." But it's a marvel how far we haven't come nor gone-- we've been the same. And that's more than many places can say. Why, both Reddit and the *chans have been shitted up by fucking boomers and r/The_Donald so much, that it's almost unbelievable. But, Bloard -- now [i]there's[/i] an immovable [i]lump of shit[/i], eh? Almost makes one proud. Anyway, you probably are expecting a terrible post coming from me, so here it is. Enjoy it. [*] I recently hung out with a friend in CLE (well, Lakewood to be specific, but that's like splitting the difference between Irving Park and O'Hare), who got me up to date on some happenings on the Pink Fora. He mentioned Skylark made a big transformation, and that the Pink Fuckers were actually accepting-- excepting Barnacle Jim of course (my friend told me about the "bolt-ons" joke-- Wahaha! What a jerk!!).

he probably didn't hear me because he got that soymilk going in one ear and chapo trap house goin in the other. hahahaha i'm just kiddin

just kind of feel it out, no real prefs here. let my hands do the walkin and talkin, yeah? normally i get slapped public but i got lucky in a dark room with my parents once.

[quote=dick%20chappy;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fpissinbg-thread%2Fposts%2F5093] about to pee [/quote] um apparently you didnt read the thread rules 😓 Mods?

This thread has been hereby... 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 💯💯😂😂😂[b]S L A M M E D[/b]😂😂😂💯💯 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂 😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆 😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅 [youtube]2xj0jPKtWgU[/youtube] 😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂 😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆 😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅😂😆😅 [b]You have been SLAMMED for: badposting by user: wowneat69[/b] Please refrain from posting terrible threads if you do not wish to be [b]SLAMMED[/b] again.

*sternly gives you the bloard initiation handshake which includes a rough under/over with a lazy side-ZJ and a phrase whispered in your ear in a dialect of yiddish only spoken by the highest ranking jews around these parts all while refusing to wipe the runny snot off my moustache because i just walked in from the cold and you can feel it touch the side of your face a little as i'm leaning in but you know this is all part of the deal and you'll score those fresh +1's soon enough so you put up with it* Hello.

went on a hunger strike in my parent's basement to raise awareness. didn't eat all day until mom called me up for dinner

kingdad69 was alone on the couch on a saturday night, empty beer in hand. his tv was the color of a tv tuned to a dead channel. i.e., it was grey static. i.e., it was the color and texture of his soul - ever since bl@rdman had left xis life. ah, how long had it been? he picked at the label of his michelob ultra. sigh. siiiiiiiiiigh. he wondered if he should change the channel. his eyes lazily searched the cumstained, piss stained carpet of his cheap apartment in wichita, nebraskee. nebraskee. sigh. that's exactly how bloardm@n used to prenounce it. kingdad69 slowly, silently mouthed the word. "neh. brahh. skee." only the "sk" was audible. he made an exaspirated fart noise with his mouth. the MGD64 in his hand was warm. the bottle was warm. it was see-through. it was warm, see-through, and about 10 inches long. it felt as hefty as blordman's c*ck. he sniffed the opening. ahhh. the faint smell of highly processed fermented beverage. it was more water than beer. just like blortman used to say when they woke up together in the morning. kingdad56 looked at the clock. it was unplugged. the face was blank. an unknown hour. the witching hour. the witching hour in witchita. haw haw, he thought. i'm not very clever. not without... HIM here... he laid down sideways so that he could only see the tv with one eye, the other being obscured by a combination of coutch and sex-swing-which-had-replaced-coffee-table. he closed his eyes. he was too tired and depressed to even cry. how could a grown man in his 60s feel this way about a that 18 year old runaway? kingdad felt not just a deep and depraved/fucked up/totally kinked-out sexual desire for the young boy who still had an entire life of gay sex aheda of him. he felt a fatherhood-like connection with the lad. he sighed out of his crusty, white-haired nostrils, and closed his eyes. perhaps, perhaps paul blardman bloard cop would come back to his arms - crash into him - like that dave matthews song from the 90s - and i come into you. in a boy's dream. and a couple tears hit the fart-smelling cushions.

*rift in spacetime opens up and wowneat69 walks through mid sentence* ...like i said i was cracking open a cold one with the boys why doing curls with by bloard bitch sucking on my hog.... *rift opens on other side of room and disappears into it*

[img]https://i.imgur.com/2tsmoQC.png[/img]

https://bloard.com/bloards/gbs/topics/why-do-i-make-really-bad-posts-a-self-healp-thread

i belive this thread belongs in the garbage bin ----> https://bloard.com/bloards/Horny_bloard

i joined bloardnr today, got matched with a bunch of ants, say they're coming to get me. what should i do?

[quote=kim_jong_skillz;%2Fbloards%2Fweird_bloard%2Ftopics%2Ffour-letter-words-only%2Fposts%2F6935] fuck. cant dooo this anny more. tooo hard. /quit [/quote] just dont suck dude, easy. cant? lmao, dont been piss. peep some good post, then come back when dont SUCK 😂😂😂

scum gang

"bloard is in the eye of the +1'er" - tagline for the bloard sports drink, bloarderaids™

In this thread, we prepare the Welcome Mat for the Newly Released North Korean Bloard Babes from their Captivity of Not having Anime, Nintendo, or Chick-Fil-A. What do you say, my fellow Bloardies? 도날드 트럼프 고맙습니다!!!

[quote=pigfoot_vermont;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Ftinder%2Fposts%2F6493] tinder?? i hardly know ‘er! haha 😛 [/quote] [img]https://i.imgur.com/UnbCr37.png[/img]

[quote=dereklaserbeam;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Ffeeling-a-bit-lonely%2Fposts%2F886] imo classical music didn't come into its own until 1835. the year of the motherfuckin tuba baby! [/quote] Whoa. Hold on. Let's get a couple things straight here. Not to derail the thread. But first of all the Classical period *ended* with Beethoven's death, either 1824 or 27 I'm not sure and I'm eating a sandwich with one hand so I can't open a new wikipedia tab to check, and by the year 1835 that was the heydey of Berlioz and by then also Schumann was growing always growing and becoming better musician then. I dont really think the tuba really has much to do with what was now the Romantic period in music which ended in the year 1900 also but many new instruments were invented in the 1800s including the saxophone and also the valve trumpet as well and even the very peculiar ophicleide even. some of the greatest works of music were also composed during this period including all of Wagner's repertoire which was very interesting and pushed many boundaries as well as his near contemporary Brahms with his "composer's composer" style of writing (he was a master of counterpoint and a "composer's composer") and a also Mahler with his great epic Symphonies and even on this "side of the pond" Foster and The March King John Phillip Sousa (not to mention Charles Ives was already writing crazy stuff in the late 18's as well but hes considered a modernist composer and died in the 1950s) but yeah anyway these couldh ardly be called "Classical" in any real historic sense of the word other than the fact that we consider them "classic" in the clolloqual (sp?) way of speaking these days. i have to admit yes the 1800s were great and really saw the blosseming of what the seed of people like Mozart and Beethove sewn and these flowers grew into the great Repertoire which we now know and love as Romantic Era music. Also lets not forget about Schubert he was ahead of his time (actually he was a contemporary of Beethoven technically and died in like 1827 i think but we still count him as a Romantic composer as he was ahead of his time despite his death date) Also one final note: Bach is NOT CLASSICAL and niether is anyone who wrote music Pre 1750 or Post 1824 or 27 (eg Debussy Handel etc etc) and i really have to hammer this fact despite the fact that his music sounds like classical and if you listen to it actually no it doesnt and it is very harmonically pure compared to many of the devises used by later composers (for example distant modulations from say a neopolitian chord a la Schubert for example) and people make this mistake all the time but I just want to clear that up for you. I don't know if that answers your question but i don't see how the tuba has much to do with this thread or classical music

*shuffles uncoformtably deciding which irony parity to respond with*

[img]https://i.imgur.com/Hy7q0sO.png[/img]

I am going to invite everyone on this website to a cookout featuring my own delicious cooking 😀. It will be serious and not ironic or joking in any manner ☺.

i think chernip got grounded again. i wonder if he misses the posts.

chernip: [writes "LIGMA" characteristically sloth-like on the whiteboard, silently, while everyone's taking a test and the teacher is grading papers] derek: [looking up] is that ligma? LOL DUDE LIGMA LMAOOO

congrats slow learner on becoming the new bloarder of the month [img]https://i.imgur.com/oySPuQx.png[/img]

[img]https://i.imgur.com/UnbCr37.png[/img]

[b]Tater Longs[/b]

One Hog Hammer For Pounding Hogs Please

oh, what's that? heteronormietive republishart capitalism in television visual-consumable format? good shit, OP. just kidding. i'm glad you're deprived.

Current post im working on: It was a dark and stormy daniels night not sure what to write next

We, The Bloarders, Will NOT stand for Terrible Posts made By Shitty Posters We DEMAND: 1. A Minus Button for Bad Posts and Shit Comments 2. A SLAM button To slam Shitlords who Bad Post 3. Anonymous Commenting Mode To Protect Are Identities When Discussing Antifa Materials (important for Freedom) and if these Demands Are Not Met We Demand President Leh0n To Step Down From Bloard President Position We Are The Posters, We Have The Power #notmybloard

[quote=kingdad42;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Flooking-at-a-tree%2Fposts%2F7054] i call trees arbes to impress the girls, but they dont know latin and just call me NERD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [/quote] perhaps they are instead hearing you say "arby's" and that you post on a website called "war dot com", and think that you want to take them on a date for roast beef sandwiches and jamocha milkshakes and then talk about military conflicts, which is probably why you're striking out big my man. instead you could offer to take them to Olive Garden, where you could Come in and enjoy unlimited freshly baked breadsticks, garden fresh salad and homemade soup. Spicy Italian sausage, fresh kale and russet potatoes in a creamy broth. White and red beans, ground beef, tomatoes and tubetti pasta in a savory broth. Unlimited Soup, Salad and Breadsticks Lunch for $6.99 at Olive Garden

[b]Tater Longs[/b]

*pensively eyes thread*

I have a .22 rifle, a hunting bow +quiver with razorheads, blast knuckles with fresh batteries, 3 katanas, and a Hylian Shield replica made of hardwood that I can wear on my arm or sling over my back. My martial arts experiences include my Blue Belt at Tiger ((Shulman's)) Karate and 2 PE credits from applied Tai Chi Quan... Plus watching a lot of kung-fu movies and fighting games. My defense rating is at least 6/10. I've never been beaten up or knocked out and the last fight I got into was with a 6'2 meathead that ended after a headbutted him in the eyesocket.