i can't tell you how many times i've nearly posted something ironic here, only to stop myself at the last second, and say, no, joop, this is not the place...
joop
a
- [quote=haunted_shrub;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fwhat-is-bloard%2Fposts%2F4974] it's just a worse fyad [/quote] Banned
- hey folks, unfortunately derk was brutally sniped in the mouth right as he hit "send" on that last post, presumably by someone who knows that bananas are not vegetables. regrettable but I think we all saw it coming
- Let me put it this way. Bloard is like a box. When you go in the box you dont know what you're going to find but you know it's going to be bloard. When you get back out of the box the light of the world blinds you momentarily as your metaphorical eyes adjust to the unfiltered wave after wave of useless garbage, celeb interviews, shitty reaction gifs, seasonal recipes with five paragraph prologues about how the author used to cook this for her ALS afflicted son, weird fast food brand tweets where a 49 year old northwestern graduate white guy says "y'all", guys getting mad at trump, guys getting mad at the guys who get mad at trump, literally a song called wet ass pussy that sucks shit but you cant say it because its Empowering. You find something kind of tame but funny and ironic to latch onto in all of this mess but it isnt the same. It isnt bloard. It's just some scrap that you can maybe share with your dudes in one of the surrogate bloard chats which always end up being a little more racist than the real bloard, which is a little racist but also very eager to have some black posters.
- Everyone teams up to film an epic bloard harlem shake vid
- you take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your ergonomic shikibuton and keep posting rare pepes and getting agitated by game journalists on twitter. you take the bloard pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the No Irony thread goes
- joinbloard.com when you sign up there's a link redirecting you to bloard.com
- [imgur voice] welp, close it down folks, this sir wins. give this man a damn award! you have won theh internet my excellent man. i'm hammiring my dick so hard with the toilet seat, just going to town! 👺
- [abruptly turns head 90 degrees in the middle of talking to someone] that's bloard, baby
- I smashed a quarter pounder before playing at the Met and Beethoven's sixth came out sounding like Beethoven's fifth
- let's take a look at all the cool shit that happmister spigettiened on bloard in 2016* -i got tons of likes on a post. i'm currently at the top. no big deal. check it out though. -lihan still can't pronounce "memes" properly. probably shouldn't be poking fun at this -my dick fell off -snowman's avatar stopped spinning -some dude with either the number 69 or 420 in his name swept in with a high-plus one post and never posted anything else. wtf -wowneat doled out a number of devastating slams -miscellaneous fails -a handful of epick winns -my dick rolled down the steps & outside into the driveway -bug deal got a heater, and warmed our hearts, with games -derek got shot in the head and then bought a shirt -g0m had a massive meltdown and is now solely into capital letters -jessica joined bloard -the bloard stimulus package was successful -king dad stole kathryn's goat -swann left (??) -a stray dog found my dick and took it to the dog hideout. they now use it like the kids use the conch in lord of the flies to delegate speaking privilege
- [quote=joop;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Freal-talk-the-bloard-thread-with-a-strict-no-irony-policy%2Fposts%2F10060][quote=joop;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Freal-talk-the-bloard-thread-with-a-strict-no-irony-policy%2Fposts%2F2186] [quote=joop;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Freal-talk-the-bloard-thread-with-a-strict-no-irony-policy%2Fposts%2F112] i watched the super bowl just a bit ago [/quote][/quote][/quote]
- [At a meeting at work] [ going to show my coworkers a funny meme to lighten the mood] [I accidentally start typing "bloard" instead of "reddit"] oh woops that's my bad. Yeah I typed in bloard out of habit, it's this awesome site I go to all the time that's so funny. You know on second thought maybe I'll just show you a couple of my favorite bloard posts. Yeah I'll do that
- What's the name of the Steven king novel where it begins with someone waking someone else up screaming that bloard has gone offline
- Just ate some oat meal. Hang in there bd, we've almost made it to full immersion virtual reality and you can smooch anime babes four hours with only one second passing in the real world
- Really good "ice-box" pie. This recipe makes enough filling for two Nabisco pie crusts (the thin ones sold in the foil tins). I prefer the Oreo crust for obvious reason but you could definitely rock a graham cracker crust. [img]http://i.imgur.com/SWMjdgS.jpg[/img] What you'll need: - 14 oz. can of sweetened condensed milk - 2 cups heavy whipping cream - 1 package (three sleeves) Oreos, regular stuffed - 1/3 cup almond butter (no need to be fancy, Jif will suffice) - 1 cup Lightly salted whole almonds (halves are fine too. you can chop these up if you don't like the big crunch. freak.) - 1/2 tbsp. vanilla extract Directions: - This is the only hard part. Take two sleeves of Oreos and separate the cream from the cookies. Keep half of the filling and discard the rest - Crumble the oreos into small pieces and toss into a large mixing bowl with the filling you saved - Take half of the remaining Oreos and separate the cream and discard it, then crumble these Oreos and set aside - Add the almond butter, almonds, and condensed milk to the bowl - In a separate bowl, whip the heavy cream with the vanilla extract until you have stiff peaks - Pour the heavy cream into the big bowl and mix it with all the other ingredients thoroughly - Pour the mixture into your pie crust and top with the remaining crumbled oreo - Cover the pies with tin foil and place in the freezer for at least 3 hours. 6 is ideal, overnight is good too. - Serve by extracting with a sharp knife (careful not to cut through the pie tin, though)
- When the bloardman is away Tis time to watch some anime
- Here's a little peek into the big J's schedule. Just an average day 8:00 - roll outta bed (rise & grind much? lol), do fifteen minutes of stretching, then stroll downstairs for... 8:15 - breakfast! first meal of the day, baby. during this time I flip open my downstairs laptop. homepage is of course the bloard.com top posts page. while i eat my cereal i reacquaint myself with all the good times we've had on here 8:30 - back upstairs. it's time to wash up, brush the ol' chompers, and shave if i haven't in the last four days. touching the mirror above my sink naturally brings up the bloard top page, which i browse via touch interface to catch up with any new posts. i make sure not to be gargling water while i do this becus you never know when a hot new swann post might crack u up, and i don't want to choke on the water and hit my head on the sink and die. 8:45 - it's time to get dressed. as i pick out my outfit, I instruct amazon echo to run my bloard_one_ups.exe program, which scans the forum for any new likes that have been applied to posts. echo tells me who has made the likes and what the posts are. 9:00 - now i'm ready for work. i hop on the local B line and on the ten-minute ride to my office load up twitter and name search "bloard" to see what the chatter is around "town" (the internet). 9:15 - finally i'm in my office. it's time to do my job — bloard posting. i crack my knuckles and get down to business. most days i can't think of anything to write. other days i'll look around for a cool new lizard picture for future use. my office, which is actually my bedroom (i take the bus around the block and get off where I got on), is outfitted with furniture conducive to content generation. 12:00 - unch 12:30 - i take an hour-long cold shower. this usually cools me off and gets me back to where i belong, mentally, after the time i spent jacking off during the last ten minutes of unch. 1:30 - this is where the bulk of my posting happens. wrapped in twenty layers of flannel blankets made from recycled printed out bloard posts, i work my mind and body into a hot content frenzy. some of my greatest posts happened during this time. for instance, the one i posted in the no irony thread. it got like 5 likes 9:00 - if i haven't fainted from dehydration at this point, i grab a little bite to eat before lying down and going to... 9:15 - sleep.
- unironically? dude... hate to fuckin say this,, but get tf in here
- micro crumb check one two who did this, the joop man comin in on rough ant business
- welcome to bloard.com, the poster child of Unreal Engine 5, a video game that's so immersive you'll forget your playing and think you're posting on a shitty message board
- i love the one where the girls like come over my parents are not home and the boy says he will. hbu
- subscribed just to say how disgusted i am by this. i'll be keeping an eye on this to make sure it doesn't get too out of control.
- ... all you need to do to get to bloard is type in "b" [url=https://ibb.co/jTdid5][img]https://preview.ibb.co/msVJBQ/Screen_Shot_2017_04_11_at_1_11_13_PM.png[/img][/url]
- going on a mud run this weekend. tommy, joel, little tommy, tim, and cecilio are out with e. coli poisoning (why does this keep happening????) . if you aren't doing that gay work stuff this weekend u should come along. P.s. did you here about the immigration ban? told you trump would start getting stuff done. ok man email me back asap!
- Painting in Caves used to be the absolute shit. take it from someone who used to Paint in Caves, Paint on Cave walls, make Cave Paintings, etc. you and your best Dudes would get together and nod in the direction of the Cave, then nod at each other, then nod just at the very notion of Painting a Cave. Painting Caves was just the Hot thing to do. it was the hugest deal, everyone loved it. imagine this: it's a Night, you're with your best Dudes just standing by a Fire and there's an opening into a big rock room, a Cave. you nod at each other and the Cave nods back. you think oh this is the shit, the Cave just starts Painting, it was absolutely Hot back then. it was so Hot back in the Cave. you and a bunch of your best Buddies would gather in the Fire and just Cave in on each other, whip out the Paint and on a Night like that just go to town, start Painting those walls, get in that Cave. it was basically the best thing to Paint, back then all of you just smashing the walls with your Concave palms. sometimes you would Paint the Cave, sometimes the Paint would Cave you, either way it was just a blast, you with your favorite five Dudes, having a blast of a time, Panting in the Cave, your faces with a Pained expression on them, the Paint just smashing all over that Fire, Caving around with your top five Nights
- wow, another holiday season coming up for bloard. it's time to designate who will do what during the upcoming festivites. whom shall bring the snacks (bring extra cookies plz xD), whom shall provide the drinks (no alcohol!... well, maybe just a little heh), and whom shall bring the hardcore porn. that's right, just like every other year we're all going to beat off in the living room to porn. we're gonna smash our hogs like it's y2k. I'm gonna tear my dick off, I don't even care, I'm gonna rip that shit clean off, fuckin put it on the tree and suck it. who's gonna stop me? this is fucking bloard