Racist
meatbot
- I like to assassinate lunkheads in th3 gym by doing deadlifts with improper form and firing a lower vertebrate out of my back and into their brain
- They'd matched on a dating app. She was immediately captivated by his bio and profile pic. He was witty, clever, and it seemed like he had his life together. He had an unusual face. Not traditionally beautiful, but handsome, in a workmanlike sort of way: the word "Bloard", in blue. She was taken by it. She agreed to meet him at a Starbucks. 2pm on a Thursday. It was nearly full when she entered, and so she had to scan all the male faces in the room to match the picture from his profile. There he was, at a table for two in the corner. As she crossed the room, she found herself nervous. Butterflies. Unusual. She'd dated enough recently to not take these things seriously anymore. She sat down across from him. "I'm--I'm Carly," she stuttered. He nodded, smiled. "Bloard," he said. "Lol," she said. "You're so funny." "Well, you know. Bloard." She felt relieved. There was nothing to be nervous about. "You're...you're even more attractive in person. Your face, I mean. The curve of the O. The hard, angular A." She stopped herself. What was she doing? "Sorry," she said. "I'm not crazy, I swear." "Hey, no worries," he said. "It's bloard."
- 1. can log on to bloard dot com 2. can receive as many as one (1) upbloards 3. have been known to get most of the pee in the toilet
- I have a button on my phone that takes me directly to bloard
- One time my wife and I won a visit to an expensive spa. When we got there, we were instructed to take off all our clothes and go into the showers. We did. Then an extremely tall woman who didn't speak any English came into the room and hosed us down and scrubbed us with this big, long handled brush. I felt like a zoo animal. An elephant, in particular. Yes, I posted this in the correct thread.
- hell is a real place and your mind the vehicle that will take you there. I OWN A 1990 MAZDA 3. LOL. be aware of problems such as faulty wiring and if your tires are going bald. be aware of them but do nothing because you can't afford to. the speakers blew out and now i have to use a battery operated "ghetto" blaster. i'm aware of this, too. i remain active by frequently having to push my 1990 mazda 3 to the nearest service station. i don't know if this will work for you but it is working for me well enough--my doctor says i am within the healthy weight range for a manatee. i had not earlier mentioned that i am an actual manatee and now apologize.
- having a big cup of coffee and trying to decide which bus ill let run me over
- I would like a settlement of $47.34 from the defendant for whatever
- [quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fants-pro-or-con%2Fposts%2F5365] no matter what side of the divide you're on vis-a-vis ants, you gotta hand it to em. they got a load of fucked up parts with hard to say names. [img]https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/8d/Scheme_ant_worker_anatomy-en.svg/880px-Scheme_ant_worker_anatomy-en.svg.png[/img] [/quote] i was pro ant, but now that i've seen this lovecraftian horror in detail, i am resolutely anti ant
- Twitter is bloard for losers
- [img]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DDI4pFMUIAED6rm.jpg:large[/img] name: mojo age: immortal breed: handsome mutt likes: eating, shitting, conquering the couch dislikes: the neighbourhood pig talents: sitting pretty, having ice cream cone for ass, summoning christ to the fields of Dabiq brain power: 7 favorite movie: office space idols: my wife car: he thinks you can just go in any one and drive around because he doesn't understand ownership. the fool
- Going into the garbage to eat E's six day old fucked up cake to own the libs
- the air bnb we stayed in last night had ants. were still giving it a good review
- banana is a meat. you have to skin and gut it. i repeat: banana is a meat. i spent six weeks in the jungles of ecuador learning to hunt bananas with a man named josue, who was also oddly enough the uber driver that picked me up at the airport.
- [img]http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/3/happy_beluga.jpg[/img]
- [img]http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20130816/epazenyb.jpg[/img]
- [quote=Snooby;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fbloard-war%2Fposts%2F2968] This war isn't over until I say it's over. I have yet to reveal my secret weapon. You have no idea what lies in store... [/quote] your secret weapon is known...it is retardation, of no use in this battle. there is only one remaining option for you: seppuku, using the plastic take out butter knife that is surely within your reach.
- I'm preparing for Christmas by shooting egg nog into my brain through my ear with a turkey baster
- I'm actually going to the actual gym tonight. i'm going to self-actualize by actually moving heavy objects with my actual limbs, repeatedly. i actually had a wide-grip bar get flung through my actual frontal cortex, and now my actual broca area is actually broca-en.
- I'm here to keep my bloard membership up to date. and to jack off on horny bloard
- dominos pizza sucks shit
- i fling open the saloon doors to Bloard. a tubmlewead of doghair rolls through. at a table sits some zak guy shouting raceistly. the room has no other patrons. from behind the bar, bloardman, taking a shot of 300-proof urine: bloards dead, he says. i step fully into the room. the saloon doors creak behind me. i tip my hat. it rips in half because its a piece of shit burger king crown. fuck that, i say, and start shooting from the hip. i dont have any guns, so i'm just spitting and pointing my fingers. bloards back, baby.
- the war is over. I count 7 on the side of bookbloard, and a sad solitary 1, the illiterate snooby, on the other side, soon to be exiled to fuck bloard
- [quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fi-will-be-the-first-to-have-the-first-real-bloard-beef%2Fposts%2F6882] I am going to get into a fight on this website. It will be serious and not ironic or joking in any manner. [/quote] no you wont
- i had a recurring dream as a child that a monster was chasing me through the dark holds of a massive ship. the dream ended with me climbing up a ladder and looking back down at the monster, who peeled off his face to reveal that he was bill cosby
- I was eating a deep dish pizza while driving and my hands slipped off the steering wheel and I drove into a preschool and the little bastards rushed me and ate my pizza.