Small brain: Whats your facebook
Normal brain: Whats your instagran
Glowing brain: Whats your twitter @
Space brain: Whats your bloard
Snooby
- Alright, so I've been trying to work bloard into conversations with my coworkers. I'll give you an example of an exchange I had the other day to give the rest of you some inspiration for how to introduce the idea of bloard to the people around you. I simply took advantage of the conversation being about websites to "bloardinate", if you will, my coworkers. Me: You know, I'm a member of a website. Coworker: Oh yeah? Me: Yeah. Bloard dot com. Coworker: What? Me: Bloard dot com. Coworker: I don't know what you're saying. Me: Bloard dot com. Coworker: Are you saying "War"? Me: No. Bloard dot com. Coworker: Bloarg dot com? Me: Bloard dot com. Coworker: "Bloard dot com"? Me: Yeah. Coworker: [laughing] Me: It's sick. Coworker: What is bloard dot com? Me: We just shoot the shit on there. Coworker: Alright.
- Grindr is lame. I installed it and ended up getting fucked in my ass. Was really stupid
- Hey all, just wanted to let you all in on a new thing I'm going to be trying for the new year. In an effort to bloardify my daily conversations, I'm going to replace "yes" with "bloard" and "no" with "bloard". If you think it's cool let me know and if you think it's lame let me know.
- [Casually scrolling through bloard, thinking "Hm... Probably just a few new posts today. Nothing special." But then noticing that not only is there a new thread up, it's a thread made by none other than Kingdad himself!] Holy shit dude. Right on! Anyway, onto the topic of the thread. Bad Idea: Sleeping nude Iffy Idea: Sleeping only in boxers or briefs or whatever your undergarments are Ok Idea: Sleeping with PJ pants on over your undergarments Better Idea: Sleeping under covers with PJ pants and a sleep-sweater Good Idea: Wearing your Starfish Snuggle Snowsuit over your PJ pants and sweater, with undergarments underneath, and socks on underneath the covers
- I'm good bro. I've been practicing hucking beanbags at passing cars and I have a court appearance next week, because of the hucking beanbags at cars thing I mentioned.
- I was hanging out with a couple of friends one night and a group of 4 or 5 rough looking guys started yelling at us and following us around. Eventually we split up and I had to walk home and take some hidden paths so I wouldn't run into them by myself. It was pretty scary. However the scariest part, was when I entered my house and was attacked by a ghost which killed me instantly.
- I go pant pant pant like a dog! Yes I pant pant pant like a dog! I crawl on all fours on the wet forest floor and I curl up and sleep in a log!
- Old Jacket (lo fi bedroom pop), Big Red Boat (Classic rock throwback), Stabbed (Metalcore), Stabbed! (Synth pop)
- Fuck! Help! (Thrashing around in the damp towels, unable to stand up so just crouching) Help!
- One Time I watched Falling Down with a girl and she talked shit about it the whole movie so the next time we watched a movie together she picked Purple Rain and I talked shit about Prince the whole time and she didn't call me again.
- Nobody do anything to freak me out. I'm moving my hand toward my face and away from it
- Kingdad, let Jerry out of the net man. Come on. He needs to get on the computer.
- Little Erik I have taken action on your suggestion and prepared the necessary paperwork to digitally insert advertisements for Bloard into all future TV broadcastings of the movie "Crazy Rich Asians".
- Consider me a changed man. Snooby 2.0 is here to rock
- I'd like to drop off a resume. I think you'll see my qualifications [Coolly sliding a crisp $20 bill across the counter] are a perfect fit for your establishment.
- I'm in favour of every internet user having a bloard account.
- I was at a girl's house and we were watching TV. She was laying her head on my stomach, which would have been chill, except I really had to fart so my stomach kept making loud gurgling noises. I told her I was hungry but I had just eaten before I went there so I would turn her down whenever she asked me if I wanted her to make me some food. Ultimately I ended up leaving and farting a tonne outside her house. The whole thing didn't work out and apparently now she has a little boy that she named after a luxury car brand.
- Oish. I've had that stuck in my head for the past fuckin month. Whenever I try to think of something to tweet or post on bloard my brain goes "Oish". It drives me crazy.
- Heh. You've made yourself a powerful ally. See you behind the counter, chief. Also, this is unrelated, but now that you've hired me, I will not wear a shirt.
- I'm on Amberwatch. I'm sitting in a lifeguard tower on the beach watching for swimmers who get in trouble in the water. Wait, I'm not on Amberwatch, I'm just a lifeguard.
- Tried to exfoliate but I fucked it up and now my face is dry, need to get some moisturizer
- I don't know who you are, all the tier 1's on twitter always fuckin make lazy jokes about you, I don't care about anything you say, I don't want to hear anything you have to say, fuck right off Slavoj zizem
- If you stub your toe and the first thing you say is "jamm", youuuuuuu might be a bloarder!
- That was Dereklaserbeam that just grabbed your dick.
- Little Erik, I think you're fucked up for having a bathroom floor that is more than one colour.