[quote=hillips;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10529] *steals power drill* *steals spirit level* *steals doorknob* *steals towel rail* *steals watering can* *steals lubricant* *steals hammer* *steals hammer* *steals escutcheon* *steals gardening gloves* *steals tin of pistachio green paint* *steals hammer* *steals 60w light bulb* *steals circular saw* *steals nails* *steals spanner* *steals spirit level* *steals stepladder* [/quote] Cor blimey mate, what are ye doing in me pockets?

I would like to purchase a fucked up claw hand please. I will pay as much as one hundred dollars

[quote=dereklaserbeam;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10532] I would like to purchase a fucked up claw hand please. I will pay as much as one hundred dollars [/quote] these guy's products will give you a fucked up claw hand alright, dont trust em!

i cast my nurpling spell on pigfoot and i cut off other fucked up claw and hand it to derek with an "100 dollars please" expression on my face

[quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10536] i cast my nurpling spell on pigfoot and i cut off other fucked up claw and hand it to derek with an "100 dollars please" expression on my face [/quote] i love 2 b nurped 😁

I’m an satisfied customer 😌 Fucked up claw hand for sale! $200 please it’s a real bargain!

*hands on my hips and beaming a smile at my beautiful store barren except for claw hands* the system works.... :,)

Just gonna spam a few replies to get that sweet 52, bear with me gang

Love hanging out in my hardware store with claw hands

Test

51

Alriiiight there we go! Thanks for hanging in there guys, sorry about that

use code MOOG at checkout for 35% off your purchase of a PEZ dispenser ronald mandonald edition family pack limit 2 per customer

Don’t mind if i do

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10549] Just gonna spam a few replies to get that sweet 52, bear with me gang [/quote] mods?

Pigfoot has repeatedly harrassed me in DMs over how pissed he is, mods wanna do something about this too?

mods please ban all lies from this forum

Need help at my house mods please hell me

bump

Employee of the month right here

I'd like to drop off a resume. I think you'll see my qualifications [Coolly sliding a crisp $20 bill across the counter] are a perfect fit for your establishment.

(This guy’s got that cool guy aura... I need To hire him and he’ll definitely make small jokes to people just coming in to buy reeses cups, endearing himself to them... might even get some chicks in this store... plus I really need that $20 to buy lunch.......) I’ll start you at $32/hour with commission :)

Hi, can I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, a bag of these Twizzlers

Heh. You've made yourself a powerful ally. See you behind the counter, chief. Also, this is unrelated, but now that you've hired me, I will not wear a shirt.

Adds to the coolness, better odds of getting chicks in here, win win win

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10588] Adds to the coolness, better odds of getting chicks in here, win win win [/quote] hell, better odds of getting any kind of customer in here will do this place a favour!

*looking at that piece of utter crap store across the street, covered in loaded diapers the neighborhood ruffians have thrown at it, Pigfoot rambling and raving outside utterly naked and belligerent, while a ray of holy sunshine beams on my blessed store, inside chicks are admiring snooby flexing his one huge pec muscle and bindlejerry completes his transition into Blade the Vampire Hunter* RP... Open RP... I am a god in this world.... I cannot die

*I walk by and crop dust the store because i ate some beans for lunch*

Hey hold up real quick Cherndog, I'm gonna grab a mop from the back and chase away the farter. Your number is up bro.

so an innocent drive by farting is suddenly forbidden, but the guy who's been jacking off in the corner next to the mop buckets and rakes has been here for over two weeks, just tugging away and grunting at anyone who walks by, mashing his spud raw... i guess snooby showed us his true colours today.

Why do you keep coming in here and doing this hillips? We’re letting you because you’re our friend and we get you’re going through a hard time but pretty soon.... it’s gonna be too much man...

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10590] *looking at that piece of utter crap store across the street, covered in loaded diapers the neighborhood ruffians have thrown at it, Pigfoot rambling and raving outside utterly naked and belligerent, while a ray of holy sunshine beams on my blessed store, inside chicks are admiring snooby flexing his one huge pec muscle and bindlejerry completes his transition into Blade the Vampire Hunter* RP... Open RP... I am a god in this world.... I cannot die [/quote] i am going to pee on your store.

*Wielding a bo staff out front and just spinning it, so fast, ready to beat the shit out of the first dude I see with his dick out near the store* Party Time

Defeat is impossible! My store is a microcosm of my creation!

WHERE''S THE NAILS ?!?!?!

[quote=blandkidneystone;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10605] WHERE''S THE NAILS ?!?!?! [/quote] (with my power of imagination, they materialize, neatly placed in a cheap plastic bag, resting peacefully in the back of your beater car) why... You had them all along 😌 another satisfied customer

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10611] (with my power of imagination, they materialize, neatly placed in a cheap plastic bag, resting peacefully in the back of your beater car) why... You had them all along 😌 another satisfied customer [/quote] Wowee UwU

5 Year Anniversary Sale! Everything 77% off! The New Hardware Store Across The Street has been in business 5 Good Long Years! And we’re pleased to see our sales have only increased exponentially in this time! Revenue is up up up! People peeing on the store, and farting as they walk past the store, down down down! Our New Hardware Store Across the Street’s performance compared to hillips’? Like comparing a plate filled with luxurious and mouthwatering grilled brats to a plate with a raw hotdog on it! Come on down and give Snooby’s one huge pec a friendly slap, and watch out for that Bo Staff!! Haha, New Hardware Store Across the Street: We’re Across the Street, and Can’t Be Beat!

if no one buys stuff from my shop im going to stand in the middle of the road naked