We really gotta clean this place up. It's getting a little cluttered for my tastes. Anyone else agree? Keep your posts in the crucible for at least 3 more days before showing them off at the crafts fair, people. We can only post fine artisan content in this thread. Let's make this a good one. You're on thin ice. Tell me a funny story involving yourself, minimum 5 sentences, or I will come for you in the night.
- I was at a girl's house and we were watching TV. She was laying her head on my stomach, which would have been chill, except I really had to fart so my stomach kept making loud gurgling noises. I told her I was hungry but I had just eaten before I went there so I would turn her down whenever she asked me if I wanted her to make me some food. Ultimately I ended up leaving and farting a tonne outside her house. The whole thing didn't work out and apparently now she has a little boy that she named after a luxury car brand.
- yesterday i was getting ready to go to work and i felt that common urge to pass some gas, so i went for it. pushed a little to help it on its way. then i felt a thick warm substance ooze out. fuck! shit!!! i ran to the bathroom and threw my now soiled underpants in the trash, then released a torrent of diarrhea. once all was said and done, i was glad that the ‘hea had hit at home rather than during my 45 minute commute or at the workplace. it must have been from that damn ravioli i had the day before for lunch. fuck elizabeth’s pizza!!!