Hey gang,
I think I will finally get my first ever kiss (not my mom) in the next coming weeks. Pretty nervous about the possibility tbh. Do you guys have any tips or advice for a first time kisser?
Thanks,
RaymondMoist
- my advice is dont do it cos you will get cooties
- Don’t purse your lips, keep them nice and soft, (imagine a slimey catfish). Then, let the other person take the lead. If they insert a slimey slug into your mouth, it is considered polite to return the favor. Finally, if your trousers begin to get tight, remove them at once and start a new thread called “the bloard thread with a no pants policy”. Good luck.
- slow down there champ, can i see your kissing license?
- [img]https://i.imgur.com/cK03eRg.png[/img]
- Looks good to me, kiss away. The Chern Dog’s pro tip? Let them kiss You! Why are you doin all the work? That’s right slugger, take a load off! You’re a hardworking, go-getting, cattle-roping S O B! You’ve done enough to earn that kiss, now all that’s left, is to let it come to you baby B)
- no way are you 6'1
- Keep your eyes closed and don’t make any weird moaning noises
- Raymond pretend you've got no arms and you're petting a friendly horse with your lips but here's the key: the horse is made of whipped cream so be gentle
- theres a technique i used to used in college its you slip your finger in her mouth while her eyes closed and get her with the fish hook
- Don’t forget to clemch your buttcheeks while you smooch. High chance of soiling your diapers when you do kiss. I know this from experience (w/ my practice pillow)
- Make it nice and sloppy
- Keep in mind that it's not an honest kiss unless you jack off during the kiss
- Thanks for all the advice guys!! I knew I could count on you for help, I'm sure it's unrelated to the things you've been telling me but I feel worse about the whole situation now.