Hey gang, I think I will finally get my first ever kiss (not my mom) in the next coming weeks. Pretty nervous about the possibility tbh. Do you guys have any tips or advice for a first time kisser? Thanks, RaymondMoist

my advice is dont do it cos you will get cooties

Don’t purse your lips, keep them nice and soft, (imagine a slimey catfish). Then, let the other person take the lead. If they insert a slimey slug into your mouth, it is considered polite to return the favor. Finally, if your trousers begin to get tight, remove them at once and start a new thread called “the bloard thread with a no pants policy”. Good luck.

slow down there champ, can i see your kissing license?

[img]https://i.imgur.com/cK03eRg.png[/img]

Looks good to me, kiss away. The Chern Dog’s pro tip? Let them kiss You! Why are you doin all the work? That’s right slugger, take a load off! You’re a hardworking, go-getting, cattle-roping S O B! You’ve done enough to earn that kiss, now all that’s left, is to let it come to you baby B)

no way are you 6'1

Keep your eyes closed and don’t make any weird moaning noises

Raymond pretend you've got no arms and you're petting a friendly horse with your lips but here's the key: the horse is made of whipped cream so be gentle

theres a technique i used to used in college its you slip your finger in her mouth while her eyes closed and get her with the fish hook

Don’t forget to clemch your buttcheeks while you smooch. High chance of soiling your diapers when you do kiss. I know this from experience (w/ my practice pillow)

Make it nice and sloppy

Keep in mind that it's not an honest kiss unless you jack off during the kiss

Thanks for all the advice guys!! I knew I could count on you for help, I'm sure it's unrelated to the things you've been telling me but I feel worse about the whole situation now.