5 Year Anniversary Sale! Everything 77% off! The New Hardware Store Across The Street has been in business 5 Good Long Years! And we’re pleased to see our sales have only increased exponentially in this time! Revenue is up up up! People peeing on the store, and farting as they walk past the store, down down down! Our New Hardware Store Across the Street’s performance compared to hillips’? Like comparing a plate filled with luxurious and mouthwatering grilled brats to a plate with a raw hotdog on it! Come on down and give Snooby’s one huge pec a friendly slap, and watch out for that Bo Staff!! Haha, New Hardware Store Across the Street: We’re Across the Street, and Can’t Be Beat!