Fed up with the service at Pigfoot’s hardware store. I’m opening my own >:) Welcome! We have an assortment of candies and tools to help the Handyman in you accomplish any job you see fit! :)

*thick new york accent* ey buass i got da lug nuts i'll drop em in da back. heheh freakin nerd wus sellin em cheap as doit im tellin ya buass we gonna be rich

i’m thinking about shoveling doit now... Hoes and Shovels 25% off! #NuBloardHardware

Hello sir, I am looking for those snickers bars that have peanut butter in them and they're square instead of a candy bar shape. Do you know the kind I mean? do you guys have those here? The place across the street wants $15 for a regular snickers bar and it's like, man are you even listening to me? Aren't my needs important to you? When you nod and smile and then hand me a regular ass snickers bar it's like you weren't even listening when I told you what I wanted and that makes me feel invalid and unimportant to you. you know? I'm looking for a hardware store that will be attentive to my desires and make me feel special and that carries those weird square peanut butter snickers

We absolutey have those 😌 and many other small candys! In fact we purposely don’t carry king size of anything, for exactly that reason! https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81dMBEtd2LL._SX522_.img

hmm yeah.... im just browsing this new hardware store hmm yeah.. and as it happens ive "accidentally" knocked over the spinning rack with all the dvds on , not a fan of this store myself i dont think....

H-hey! Pick up those 5-10 year old dvds! Those are classic straight to home release films! Who do you think you are!!

I shake my head and glare at pigfoot but otherwise do nothing to help.

Hello I'm looking for an enormous heavy duty power drill, I don't have a project planned or anything. I just want to hold and drill the air to feel powerful and I'm afraid of guns.

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10443] H-hey! Pick up those 5-10 year old dvds! Those are classic straight to home release films! Who do you think you are!! [/quote] cant pick them up now, very busy, many thousands of customers wish to come to my store and i must serve them

Hey... uh... could you give this to the manager, please? It's a job application. I'm hoping to work here! I tried applying to that hardware store across the way; pigfoot's I think it's called. But they laughed and burned it to ashes right in front of me... Then as I was running out crying, they pelted me with peanut butter Snickers. 😓

[quote=dick%20chappy;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10449] Hey... uh... could you give this to the manager, please? It's a job application. I'm hoping to work here! I tried applying to that hardware store across the way; pigfoot's I think it's called. But they laughed and burned it to ashes right in front of me... Then as I was running out crying, they pelted me with peanut butter Snickers. 😓 [/quote] yo, what the fuck

[quote=dick%20chappy;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10449] Hey... uh... could you give this to the manager, please? It's a job application. I'm hoping to work here! I tried applying to that hardware store across the way; pigfoot's I think it's called. But they laughed and burned it to ashes right in front of me... Then as I was running out crying, they pelted me with peanut butter Snickers. 😓 [/quote] Look no further 😌 a defector from Pigfoot’s store is surely a friend of mine. You’re hired!

Where's the beer

You still comin over tonight Jer? ;)

*pushes over the spinner thing that has all the house key blanks In it* where the beer

*jacks off in the hardware store*

[quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10461] *pushes over the spinner thing that has all the house key blanks In it* where the beer [/quote] probably at a better hardware store (i.e. mine) ☝☺✋

*starts fiddling with the window blinds cutter*

Gonna need to ask this riff raff to get outta my store. Enough’s enough. This is a family establishment! If you wanna jack off and guzzle beer go to the dumpster of a store across the street!

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10467] Gonna need to ask this riff raff to get outta my store. Enough’s enough. This is a family establishment! If you wanna jack off and guzzle beer go to the dumpster of a store across the street! [/quote] its actually called "the world famous travelling hardware store" and its not a dumpster at all

Yes hello may i please look at your selection of hand made soaps and candles?

hey, i'd like to return this 8lb spool of solder. meant to get lead-free. RoHS ya know? anyways i'll take cash or store credit where's the fridge section?

This spool of Solder has the Pigfoot Insignia... I’d recognize it anywhere... that of a Child Sitting in it’s Own Doodoo...! Where did this come from!

Oh boy! First day on the job, can’t wait to start 😁

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10483] This spool of Solder has the Pigfoot Insignia... I’d recognize it anywhere... that of a Child Sitting in it’s Own Doodoo...! Where did this come from! [/quote] damn right its my solder, doesnt have any lead in it like the solder from that damn other store

[quote=dick%20chappy;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10484] Oh boy! First day on the job, can’t wait to start 😁 [/quote] you'll be a good fit kid, here let me show you da ropes *lays down on the ground and goes to sleep*

I would like to purchase as much fertilizer and flammable materials as can fit in the back of this u-haul, please

As long as that material is going to Pigfoots it’s 50% off! I think we have an understand here :)

I think we have an understand :)

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10489] As long as that material is going to Pigfoots it’s 50% off! I think we have an understand here :) [/quote] excellent more stock for my severly depleted inventory seeing as my store is so popular >:^)

Shrub knows just where to deposit such... Materials....... >:)

[tosses pigfoot's fucked up claw hand on the counter] pretty cool huh

You became a badass in this RP Jerry

☝☺👌 this is the summer i come out of my shell

this is the summer you cut a guys arm freaking off. what the heck! thats not badass its just being rude. march your butt over to pigfoots and apologise! 😡

While I hope that SOB pigfoot goes out of business I think Hillips has a point here

After seeing pigfoot has more replies in his Terrible, Horrid thread about his disgusting store across the street, I’ve decided to begin a FIRE SALE! ALL MERCHANDISE 80% OFF

you could not pay me to take any of these products they are sin

*steals power drill* *steals spirit level* *steals doorknob* *steals towel rail* *steals watering can* *steals lubricant* *steals hammer* *steals hammer* *steals escutcheon* *steals gardening gloves* *steals tin of pistachio green paint* *steals hammer* *steals 60w light bulb* *steals circular saw* *steals nails* *steals spanner* *steals spirit level* *steals stepladder*