every year i sit down in front of the Fireplace, flames roaring, with a newspaper across my lap. i am nude. there is a glass of warm lemonade in my hand. i need to crap really bad. i sing an acapella version of "You Gotta Be The One", a song i invented that nobody knows except me. when im done singing it i crap into the newspaper, use the obituaries to wipe my ass, and toss the whole bundle into the fireplace. my house smells like shit for weeks after and i cant have any guests over. then it's 11:58pm and i jack off until new yeear's a cum at exactly 12:00:01. then i watch a Louis CK standup marathon with the volume off and no subtitles and mouth every joke because i have them all memorized. then i fall asleep naked on the floor. i do this every year and i am 108 years old

That's a really good tradition man.

at this point that fireplace must be one of the most mystically powered locations on earth

thank's all :)

Many (such as myself) have tried to sneak into slow learner's house on new years eve to try and sneak a recording of his legendary song "You Gotta Be The One," but none yet have succeeded and many do not make it out. Knowing this song is considered to be of key strategic importance to several major powers aroundd the world and they're paying top dollar for it

for years this was believed to be the only known recording of the song but unfortunately when hillary played this on election night she lost [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMYN3CcMnJk[/youtube]

That's a really good tradition man.

[quote=kingdad42;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fnew-year-s-ritual%2Fposts%2F4556] That's a really good tradition man. [/quote]

[quote=haunted_shrub;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fnew-year-s-ritual%2Fposts%2F4553] for years this was believed to be the only known recording of the song but unfortunately when hillary played this on election night she lost [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMYN3CcMnJk[/youtube] [/quote] this actually whips lmao

i eat a pack of hot dogs and sit in the dark listeining to the soft humm of the microwave. every year for the past 6 years. and i dont hate it any more like i used to. thats because i dont expect for get invited to stuff any more and i found some section of carpet and it makes the floor a lot better to sit on

I'm back a year later and this is a new me: Your tradition sucks ass!

🥴

i am 109 years old and i still do this. my ass is grass

"You Gotta Be The One",

getting my logs ready. never to early to prep

[img]https://d15g9ctfd3qhkj.cloudfront.net/uploads/user/avatar/29/avatar.png[/img]

im jumbling up the logs to make your life worse