cool, can i be the fat useless one? haha it's a joke based on reality

[quote=kingdad42;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fplans-to-bring-in-more-bloard-users%2Fposts%2F5607] Maybe a Bloard pot luck where we all make bloard inspired food [/quote] im assuming you mean giant platters of nothing but crumbs of various sorts

[quote=kim_jong_skillz;%2Fbloards%2Fmusical_bloard%2Ftopics%2Fthe-worst-band%2Fposts%2F5578] korn sucks too [/quote] tjhen explain why they fucking rock if they suck, bitch

F# is a wonderful programming language and it's a damn shame that Microsoft doesn't give it the attention it deserves.

good shit goys...keep it rollin' in. really like where the plot's going 👌

[quote=littleerik;%2Fbloards%2Fgym_bloard%2Ftopics%2Fwelcum-to-gym-bloard%2Fposts%2F5526] I only jump off a cliff when I think there's a possibility I might get horny [/quote] boy do i have a thread for you

ACT I, SCENE I SETTING: Late Summer 1986, Miami, Shortly after DUSK BACKGROUND MUSIC: https://soundcloud.com/ubiktune/manwe-rotagilla A group of YOUNG WHITE MALES are walking out of a movie theatre after seeing the opening of Blue Velvet. They are walking towards the COFFEE SHOP on the street corner, talking about how terrible of a director David Lynch is. Character W. NEAT is standing out front of the COFFEE SHOP. W. NEAT is wearing a black leather duster. He is an anthropomorphic frog. He is wearing sunglasses. The background behind him is the color #D5D9F6. The YOUNG WHITE MALES walk by W. NEAT. W. NEAT has a grin in his face. [W. Neat] (To YOUNG WHITE MALES) Hey fellas, i got this new shit right here. You guys ever hear of the shit called... Bloard...? [WHITE MALE 1] (Adjusting his white, patterned do-rag and large-rimmed glasses) Are you saying "War"? [W. Neat] Bloard. It's the [i]good shit[/i]. [WHITE MALE 2] Bloarg? Is that like, a Board for zombies? (chuckles) (YOUNG WHITE MALES ALL GIGGLE) [W.Neat] (Smiling) Trust me guys. (Opens Black Leather Duster to reveal several GREEN PLUS SIGNS). See these, boys? (YOUNG WHITE MALES' eyes get wide at sight of GREEN PLUS ONES) [W. NEET] (smiles again) Ah, so it looks like i have some customers, [i]si?[/i] [Ed. note: "si" is an Italian word] [WHITE MALE 1] (With slightly crossed eyes and somewhat dumbstruck open mouth) W..where did you get those...hot things, man? [W. Neat] (Looks at camera, Winks) That's all on Bloard, baby. END SCENE

in aout 30 minutes. really excited. i love sleeping. it's like being dead. i love being almost dead. imitatively dead. it's super good. i can't wait. every night before i go to bed i do the moves to get ready to pretend to be almost kind of dead. i palm slam my alienware laptop shut and right there i start doing the sleepwalk to the bathroom. making swishing sounds when i gargle up some Listerine or even sometimes the generic, off-brand meijer stuff. not many are interested in the kind of sleep i'm into. i am. i don't normally brag about it especially on bloard, mostly because i respect other bloarders (except derek whatshisface) because they are all respectable and totally not shit humans. i am very familiar with death and i've learned how to accept that i'm a totally lost idiot and staring at the ceiling every night in terror of growing older without an end goal or anything i'm proud of in life is the antithesis of how to solve my problems. i only sleep a few hours total a week because i wake up constantly from nightmares of being stuck in the same place for the next 60 years with nothing to leave behind. then i lift.

if you have any q's about improv just ask man. if you're hankerin for something different, check out jerry bergonzi's improv books 1 (melodic structures) or 2 (pentatonics). they get you blowin changes (as we say) in the first lessons. easy to understand. very practical. those books helped shape how i teach improv to my students tbh.

just kind of feel it out, no real prefs here. let my hands do the walkin and talkin, yeah? normally i get slapped public but i got lucky in a dark room with my parents once.

legit curious fam, just classical or what else you do?

i'm still on the fence about all this, to be honest

Every thread is safe if you're packing heat.

bump

i think pork is an underrated style of meat addendum: i like jazz too. got my degree in it (waste of time/money). currently transcribing some chris potter. good shit.

what about grampas and old farts you know, people like you

first time taking a piss in 5 days, for some reason it's only a trickle so i odn't have time to explain my last post sorry

people tell me a mysterious and horrible odour follows me around, can't seem to find the source, will keep everyone updated

no crumbs here, just terrible B.O. (Barack Obama)

[quote=wowneat;%2Fbloards%2FHorny_bloard%2Ftopics%2Fbilly-herrington-has-left-the-gym-forever%2Fposts%2F5158] Press 🍆💦 to pay respects. [/quote] I wasn't sure whether to put this in Gym Bloard or here. Mods please move thread if off topic. Thanks.

Press 🍆💦 to pay respects.

currently dropping [b]hot streams[/b] as i type this gingerly so as to not disturb the delicate balance of the laptop on my knee (balancing the laptop on my right leg which is proppe dup on the seat while my left leg is curled under my rear, i have to aim up in an arc so th shit almost done, i'll finish what i was saying next time i have to drop them [b]steamy liq's[/b]

w hy did you put a human in front of you when taking picture lol

[quote=Snooby;%2Fbloards%2Ftghe%2Ftopics%2Fmelm-plemp%2Fposts%2F5104] Pro melm anti plemp [/quote] thats a bad platform for +1's mate... real dicey issue to set up before the 2018 Bloardterms

[quote=haunted_shrub;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fbloard-post-workshop%2Fposts%2F5080] i had a post i was thinking about for about 4 days in a row but then i drank a lot of vodka for two days straight and now i forgot it. anyway i was thinking about posting "im' gay lool" in horny bloard [/quote] not a bad start. you might want to add something about ants. i hear it's a classic meme on bloard.

[quote=dick%20chappy;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fpissinbg-thread%2Fposts%2F5093] about to pee [/quote] um apparently you didnt read the thread rules 😓 Mods?

Current post im working on: It was a dark and stormy daniels night not sure what to write next

(((god))) damn hamtaro is cute. Too bad i'm not a soyboy into traps and other downlow gay nonsense. I read Evola. Fuck you.

[quote=moog;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fim-scare-of-online-future%2Fposts%2F4924] i found bloard after falling into a river behind my grandfathers pizza shack. i was carried downstream into a lake and almost drowned but i was saved by a bloard user who asked not to be mentioned by name in this post. [/quote] harrowing. Wow.

Not a swearer personally, just droppin by

[b]Tater Longs[/b]

wuold you mind doing some commnetary on this video while standing in your closet? [youtube]https://youtu.be/7WbNYYLzpyM[/youtube]

[quote=dereklaserbeam;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Freal-talk-the-bloard-thread-with-a-strict-no-irony-policy%2Fposts%2F4803] I don’t do any exercise despite the fact that i have an elliptical machine and a bench with free weights in my house. Need to turn that thing back on and do like 15 minutes per day on it to get some cardio [/quote] it's not the machine that needs turned on, it's you, brother 😁

[quote=meatbot;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Freal-talk-the-bloard-thread-with-a-strict-no-irony-policy%2Fposts%2F4800] I eat food and I run around. at the gym I lift objects 1 half hour twice weekly to promote good circulation. my mental health is moderate. [/quote] this is a no irony thread

nope still havent read a goddamned thing

yea im not reading any of that

*sternly gives you the bloard initiation handshake which includes a rough under/over with a lazy side-ZJ and a phrase whispered in your ear in a dialect of yiddish only spoken by the highest ranking jews around these parts all while refusing to wipe the runny snot off my moustache because i just walked in from the cold and you can feel it touch the side of your face a little as i'm leaning in but you know this is all part of the deal and you'll score those fresh +1's soon enough so you put up with it* Hello.

meatloaf i'm well aware it's not technically bread but i use two slices of meatloaf and put a piece of bread on the inside of it and make an "anti-sandwich" that i usually eat on the way to the library-gym where i work out and also read books, the problem is that i have not found a good way to keep my hands clean while driving because i put copious amounts of ketchup on the outsides of the anti-'wich (i'll refer to it as the antwich from hereon) and the ketchup tends to get all over the steering wheel and the gym equipment and books , my mom suggested i put the ketchup on the inside but it's harder to get the perfect bite when doing so, you know what i mean?

blood-soaked toast

kek