yesterday i was getting ready to go to work and i felt that common urge to pass some gas, so i went for it. pushed a little to help it on its way. then i felt a thick warm substance ooze out. fuck! shit!!! i ran to the bathroom and threw my now soiled underpants in the trash, then released a torrent of diarrhea. once all was said and done, i was glad that the ‘hea had hit at home rather than during my 45 minute commute or at the workplace. it must have been from that damn ravioli i had the day before for lunch. fuck elizabeth’s pizza!!!