[quote=moog;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fclub-bloard%2Fposts%2F10573] club bloard? i havent been here since they had to pull the one guy out of the waterslide after he got stuck trying to dam it shut with a bunch of plastic forks. what a mess lol [/quote] please, i am trying to leave my past behind.

(i order a small bowl of olives and eat them one at a time with a cocktail stick, i will wait until 2am when the dj starts playing downtempo and then i will venture onto the floor and tap my foot a bit)

mods please ban all lies from this forum

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10549] Just gonna spam a few replies to get that sweet 52, bear with me gang [/quote] mods?

[quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10536] i cast my nurpling spell on pigfoot and i cut off other fucked up claw and hand it to derek with an "100 dollars please" expression on my face [/quote] i love 2 b nurped 😁

long hard day of looking at people doing road works outside the window, cant wait to get on the sofa with a huge beer and get in amongst some of that saturday night bloard

[quote=dereklaserbeam;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10532] I would like to purchase a fucked up claw hand please. I will pay as much as one hundred dollars [/quote] these guy's products will give you a fucked up claw hand alright, dont trust em!

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-hardware-store-rp%2Fposts%2F10526] He uh, he told me in confidence he’s hiding kids in the aisle with all the wall outlets! Take this guy down! [/quote] are those lies 80% off too, huh buddy??

you could not pay me to take any of these products they are sin

[quote=littleerik;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-hardware-store-rp%2Fposts%2F10520] Thank you so much. Law abiding citizens like you are the backbone of our quiet community. [/quote] thanks officer, do not mind these two. in fact i advise you to arrest them immediately

[quote=Phage;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-hardware-store-rp%2Fposts%2F10516] Hey, I’m from out of town. Could I just get a Snickers bar? [/quote] $14.99, please

[quote=littleerik;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-hardware-store-rp%2Fposts%2F10515] (I flash my badge and pull out my nightstick) big mistake, criminal [/quote] sorry officer didnt realise 😳 thatll be $13 for the snickers with the emergency services discount

[quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-hardware-store-rp%2Fposts%2F10513] Pigfoot I. Sorry [/quote] that is ok, i have come to accept losing a limb as a part of the hardware store lifestyle

[quote=littleerik;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-hardware-store-rp%2Fposts%2F10500] hey pigfoot do you guys have a customer loyalty program where I put my phone number in the point of sale system and then maybe I get a little discount on common items (like snickers bars the kind with the peanut butter in them not the fucking regular ones that your grandad ate when he was getting ready to do underage drinking and cunnilingus on your grandma out behind the barn) and in exchange you get to track what stuff I commonly buy and maybe market to me via email? [/quote] listen here i thought i told you $15 for the damn snickers bar you can either buy one or im calling the cops

[quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-hardware-store-rp%2Fposts%2F10495] *pick up a machete* *Chops exactly 40% off of the propietors left arm* [/quote] (talking through tears) "thats $7.50 please, thanks for shopping at the world famous travelling hardware store"

PSA: going out of business sale, liquidating all stock everything 40% off 😞

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10489] As long as that material is going to Pigfoots it’s 50% off! I think we have an understand here :) [/quote] excellent more stock for my severly depleted inventory seeing as my store is so popular >:^)

[quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-hardware-store-rp%2Fposts%2F10479] *shoplifts an 8lb spool of lead solder* [/quote] another happy customer, fantastic

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10483] This spool of Solder has the Pigfoot Insignia... I’d recognize it anywhere... that of a Child Sitting in it’s Own Doodoo...! Where did this come from! [/quote] damn right its my solder, doesnt have any lead in it like the solder from that damn other store

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10467] Gonna need to ask this riff raff to get outta my store. Enough’s enough. This is a family establishment! If you wanna jack off and guzzle beer go to the dumpster of a store across the street! [/quote] its actually called "the world famous travelling hardware store" and its not a dumpster at all

[quote=%E2%98%83;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-hardware-store-rp%2Fposts%2F10464] "greetings kind merchant, i'd like to peruse your wares. please show me to your finest selection of axes... and mayhaps ye can fletch a few flight arrows to replenish my companions dwindling quiver?" [/quote] im not really sure what that is but im pretty sure we have it "in the back", i can spend 5 minutes looking for it in a small cupboard behind the till while a small queue of agitated customers builds up behind you if you'd like?

[quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10461] *pushes over the spinner thing that has all the house key blanks In it* where the beer [/quote] probably at a better hardware store (i.e. mine) ☝☺✋

garfield is a celibate buddhist, and i will hear no other answer.

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-new-hardware-store-across-the-street%2Fposts%2F10443] H-hey! Pick up those 5-10 year old dvds! Those are classic straight to home release films! Who do you think you are!! [/quote] cant pick them up now, very busy, many thousands of customers wish to come to my store and i must serve them

hmm yeah.... im just browsing this new hardware store hmm yeah.. and as it happens ive "accidentally" knocked over the spinning rack with all the dvds on , not a fan of this store myself i dont think....

[quote=Chernip;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-hardware-store-rp%2Fposts%2F10434] “I’ve been walking around for 15 minutes without seeing any employees to help me. Is something wrong here? Hello?” I said this 32 times in the store before leaving. On the way out I threw a punch at the cashier, I missed but he got the message. 3/10. [/quote] dont let the damn door hit your ass on the way out too, buddy

[quote=dereklaserbeam;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-hardware-store-rp%2Fposts%2F10431] I can spin it. Up my butt lmao [/quote] fuckin lol this guy's hired

[quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-hardware-store-rp%2Fposts%2F10423] yall gotany jobs [/quote] yes we need a guy to spin the sign around, its a big arrow with "famous traveling hardware store, known in 30 states and approved by the FDA, we sell hammers, tools and saws. next left turn" written on it. we expect you to be able to spin this sign with incredible speed and dexterity

[quote=littleerik;%2Fbloards%2FbloaRP%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-hardware-store-rp%2Fposts%2F10425] hey sir I am looking for some metal screens for a project I am working on. I'd also like some candy bars if you have any.. I'm thinking like those snickers ones with peanut butter? do you know the kind I mean? [/quote] [img]https://i.imgur.com/evBN4Di.jpg[/img] thats $15 please

hi sorry guys i was at lunch. just form a queue or something and ill do all the orders when the card reader is on

slow down there champ, can i see your kissing license?

[img]https://i.imgur.com/ccXvQTU.png[/img]

nascar is the bastard sport

[quote=RaymondMoist;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fa-psa%2Fposts%2F10338] so hamburger style? [/quote] hamburger is not an animal.

the fuck is bloard?

sign me up for the list please but dont put me on the list itself put me at the top with a colon after my name so it looks like im the title........ please..

2 pussies

upgrade banjowigwam to at least mid tier, i demand it

cryptid: MortalDad the dad who will not ever die. you cant kill him.

👀 👃 👅 -“let me in the army”