[quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2FGameing%2Ftopics%2Fi-will-write-you-d-d-character-sheet%2Fposts%2F9987]
I head north to hobbit village. before i arrive i lock my tweets and turn off notifcations, and i smear some of funzo's remains on my face, two long vertical funzo lines under my eyes like the wolf princess from princess mononoke
[/quote]
(you approach the village and see a small hobbit playing in the shrub. in a matter of minutes they are all dead and jack from twitter has slapped a big ban on your account as screenshots of you knifing an elderly hobbit leaked on to twitter)
pigfoot_vermont
***MESSAGE FROM THE MODS: DO NOT BE MEAN TO THIS USER, THEY WILL CRY***
- [quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2FGameing%2Ftopics%2Fi-will-write-you-d-d-character-sheet%2Fposts%2F9980] Bullshit he doesn't. I attempt a non lethal attack on him to incapacitate him, so I can take him to hobbit village with me. [/quote] you deal 4 damage to funzo, instantly decimating his 4 hp, his head crumbles under your hand like a sandcastle and he screams. (you scrape his remains into a little bag for safekeeping)
- beefsnack you have got 4 strength. 6 intelligence and 5 charisma every go you can move 2 feet if you roll above a 3 and can move 20 feet if you roll under 3 (due to having funny crazy slinky legs) your alignment is chaotic good you your personality is having a crocodile mouth with sharp teeth, everyone is impressed by that incredible crocodile jaw and its mighty biting, giving you +4 to charisma your bond is the eastern gnome village you love all the gnomes and their village and are sworn to defend them. your flaws are that being made of raw meat, crows and foxes will follow you around hoping for a snack
- [quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2FGameing%2Ftopics%2Fi-will-write-you-d-d-character-sheet%2Fposts%2F9972] I ask him what's small, has a wand, and says "owiwieieiwiwieowwowowie" [/quote] he does a massive chuckle, and with a giant friendly grin on his face he points you north to the hobbit village and animal rescue sanctuary knowing full well the consequence of his actions
- there may be a gun but.. i have the only bullets. (jangles pocket in your face)
- [quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2FGameing%2Ftopics%2Fi-will-write-you-d-d-character-sheet%2Fposts%2F9960] I go looking for hobbits to murder. Do I see any tracks? Where is the nearest shire? [/quote] in one stride you move exactly 40 feet and come across “funzo the party wizard” who will show you to the hobbits if you can tell a joke and make him chuckle. or you can beat the shit out of him he only has 4 hp
- no more mental raving [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk1Y8fqXafk[/youtube]
- [quote=dick%20chappy;%2Fbloards%2FGameing%2Ftopics%2Fi-will-write-you-d-d-character-sheet%2Fposts%2F9955] 👐 [/quote] dick chappy you have 5 strength 7 intelligence and 4 charisma you can move 100 feet per go (horse legs), you have got 25 hit points and deal 7 hit points when unarmed you have a lawful good alignment and your personal trait is your noble "chap blood" means you are a person of nobility and great esteem in the kingdom :) your bonds are your large collection of beanie babies and desert storm trading cards from the 90s your flaw is that every go you roll a dice and if it lands on any number above 4 you become scared and die instantly
- little erik your strength is 40 your intelligence is 5 and your charisma is 6. you can move 10 feet per go (bigerik can move 60) you have 30 hit points and can deal 10 hit points unarmed your alignment is chaotic good. your personality trait is shouting "hey numbnuts" and then bashing a guys skull in, you also like to farm, but nothing useful its just a big ant farm your bonds are a strong affiliation for hot dogs and burgers done on a bbq on a nice summers day :) but your flaw is that your sword always has a snide remark whenever you hit something and will insult anyone in earshot which takes 5 off of your charisma. also you can never put the sword down its like... attached or something.
- jerry. your strength is 4 your intelligence is 6 and you charisma is 5 every go you can move up to 40 feet due to regular walks to the park and good running shoes. you have 35 hit points and can deal 4 hit points unarmed your alignment is lawful neutral, your personality trait is being able to identify dog breeds from incredible distances, you pretend its not a big deal but in reality you are very proud of it. your bonds are your large collection of carefully hand cut coupons which ensure great deals at all merchants partnered with amex but your flaws are an unrelenting hobbit bloodlust, you keep killing hobbits. every time you see a hobbit your only option is to strike with overwhelming force. this takes 3 away from your charisma, and also twitter is upset at you for it but you will deal criticals on all hobbits.
- comment and i will write your d&d character sheet for free
- i look at the camera. the crowd laughs, the credits roll. the terrifying charade is over. [img]https://i.imgur.com/9qkyjwG.png[/img]
- [quote=bug%20deal;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2F8fcc0ee0-3155-4fa6-bbe8-a3a1c4585b20%2Fposts%2F9860] I can't mmake that first line match up. well I've been through the desert on a horse with no name well I've been ___on__the bloard ___ thread with no name sigh. no standards these days... no pride in workmanship [/quote] no no no. to sing this you stretch the “oar” of bloard so it conforms to the melody and covers the “on a horse” section and the “thread” of the “thread with no name” part is sped up to fit, so it would be more like: “well i’ve been on the blo-oard thread-with-no-name” this is all robust music theory, it all makes sense
- [quote=beefsnack;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Felemental-bending-thread%2Fposts%2F9835] hernie [/quote]
- [quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2Fgbs%2Ftopics%2Fcrime-bloard%2Fposts%2F8399] I positioned my body in such a way that I created negative pressure in my abdomen and reverse farted. Not recently, this was when I was like 12. [/quote] sounds like the classic “ass vacuum” (ass cuum for short)
- im a postbender. my element is posts and i am in full control of them
- well ive been on the bloard thread with no name, it felt good to get out of the rain. (la la lala la laaa laaaa la)
- [quote=jerry;%2Fbloards%2Fmath%2Ftopics%2Fthe-bloard-number%2Fposts%2F9257] 421 [/quote] lol haha its almost weed number
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P+SDlbY1jzj0SXU6PVEZ71pkaoYGmfElO0dULv3dePrd74NCDlacLqNLqjfPeqyNz7vHOmVtH9UVmu4VbQHbCaLhzug+SDjSYC6XpLqpqz+rkgfxXsd/K0Qq6vVPaA0FtUudrb2bRHA9riOSDnEJhe3q9WFvGVw8e0B8mkDmsGp0A0g2f0M7heM/6UHl0pW6f0Utwzs1UfYcf5QVU/o/aW503N406oPHFmSDVJgr0Nn6MsLL1W1ikfmus1rdO2HNpkQB+QtiOhtkhp/xVgkSZsloEDDxJxmMMEHk6VSA/e0AffafDJVNevd1ehejqbL50yx4Pu0aMuI3g1JGO3YsrQfV/YLTIZpNwcIgOs7QDO8VMfJB7nqbrVKdgpNFMlr6lR96IHtubi7hTXv2Wx7w7sw28DiCSYx13cjErznRzRVqsFGlZqJZWpsY0X4DCTee50Avwxcdq2VbSNta6fk4cIGALcI1g3tfog29Gu4NF5sEzIM5yZxAOE5bkLWstlWqAKlG4ImCL3eBIieBQg8+RIwe9veBmDiBmG3sp9EPog+88AY4XvOBCxqukQQZZjjAc0kn4rAo2pvsEMAOF0l2PgW/FBtKrWkxePMq9l1pyM8CZ2YrGpOa0C6xu2LxaJ4j8FN9IOMXHGdjw4ciZ8EGQ2o0kEtI3QeeE4KV9uo+EER4LAFjum8GxrJLYPOc0Co4ZgeYMcJg80GaHtyA53h8QVE0gRIOJMjvuPGJwUWPZ70RtJVrrRSB1TuCAbZ3AQ133gXecg+as7M64jVGCga7ML3d3udHmDCsDmke1I1G/hzlBI08te9AYRr84U6dIasftOI8yVA0nTLXzuGXMIAQDjHPUp3m5SOAOKLjtcfedCiaTtnnPxQXXhAjLxVjeCwrjwREjbAEHw/qrqVV84gRtx8wgy2095HL1Ck4gZkeQVdPHb4YfFWZaz4kIEGjMeqkHA4YzuBPmiTxUjwQF2cp5EIpO1QeR/JV9BgGMfH4K9zuKDHdT/uUhRV93WExH5CCrsp1KPZ8OCvcPDhHqFHE6uYQU9kBm0chiqhZqZ9wcgsmphqHgqRUn2eGOSDEraHszvao090sbr2YIb0dsoiLPS24MGe6AtqymYxjkpwTrHmgKTIEZDx8lYU2t/OKCgrDdnohRv4x+Hqmg8IYLcQ1ztt0Zb4ccViVajGmLjifokDLdr8AsU6btJj9WIOuSfUKqppe0CT2YLdYcW5/ZQbKjVpmfbA1yxw8wIVlWgw3fbOyHGOC0FDTry67UDQIiGvI5AnArY/4mQ0kMeRqn+5HigzqVhb854BkReMcjgr6tnfd7tUg7w3lsWFZdJNd7TXA7CPwkLJtLnAC5E5gOMfAYoIss9f3qgeNmAx8ENskmTTAI2GR5KdGq+O+xpIEwwgOHhiSrKOlWwSaTx4ST92YQFERgWkDITiPBw1LJZZGCTdaJ4EFUs0vRJuggOPuuJaT4FslZbNIU5IvQdhBHxiUFlNzcQGt8JHnEKLagj2Lu9pDh5jBWduI7pafKOUqBrDW4jfIPogC5rsQ52/ABR7AjEOdwgx4qVG0scYvmYzAnlIgq9rBEgg8gfigxgKp/eDwAPOQpsZUnGN+ETyKzLOyBiyPP1hXNphBQxjv7E+pVga4e7zdPxBV7GBWtZvCDApuf71ODqguOHEMEKyiHGe7n9I+rVnCgNSkaYESTz/FBBoPzT970ICm38zHoi6CPankp02Rr5ygCDGEeMqDpAwLZ1SDHLX5Kd87R5oa8+8OGtBEPdsB4GCpUqmJlpHn8EX93JTY48PBAnOGqeR9U20xw8EFs+9h+dqspsMzfvbsMOQQSNP8jX4kqVz84KL6hHvAHeP6pCq+PdndKCU7j5fik9g2H4op1HnO74T8UVH4Zx+d6DHdSbnd8vWEKupWu5uPjdSQc9q2Wk2DfLQRhD2tnxAkrFtFJjjEPcNl+qRgPogoNsZXYQ18Ab2HmWuHotezRk5PaRthpnxJcUFlre1v7sNwz7N5M7yWz5KNjt7YwzyIayoTx7oGPgFcyi9ojuHwb+CsJqDBop8C54H3QIQbKhWBEG94tcMPpB6zKdGndgNABGwALybXWlriWtoTtbfHMBwUzaLaACezG+6CfMkoN7SsHegNAGotI85MrYtsYA2AfRb6rQaO0rUc4BxAOWA7p8DiD4reOcYhzTxBkfGQgqtrKZbBx3BnafEEDxV1GpTYALsYZOugjZrgLGDdYeZ4uiNhl3qmxpF4kgSIwGPHHBBsQ5hiGt3Yj4gqRczMUi7bF0x94hYVFoaZN4zGOYw+jkPBW1LS1uIgjXEfjggva5hJmk5sbgZ8QY5qsW1s/sarcfmiDv7rirLNaZEkTtEgH8Cr6doZrLhsJHoMkDp22mIBqROqHT5rJfpKkwEkniKdQ/AFYdSsyT3gTsjy1KYrNiAADqBkeUoMilp2gcA6fsPHosj5XRd7wHHArXtqR7sbI/piEjXx7wkHUR/T1QbVjaZyfO6QfipilGRWmbaGCcGj7IGHjmrWXCQQCPqmEG0dRBzHwVoaBmCBvOHxhYDKt0x3zvzCyO2P5kIL6b2uGEEbQQUyzcFU14OockVqc+6OKDJDePgY8wrWAbZ44rXBkbZ4u/GFU979bXEbnXeYCDdBo/uSnAXn4c7Ft9u6SD4lpkqqpYicXVHyf4lQAcO8YQemePyVVULRgY8cl5c2Z4EdtViB+9fhvnNZNJ9SnHekREvfJ80G97FsyAOIzVbmbitdStj8izxEt8xKH2sNE9/HYCYO8NzQZ5dGo+SFp7RpllMBz69NgOA7RwZjwfBlCD//2Q==[/img] 😏 hey wassup.. 😩 (the titanic flexes its giant huge boat muscles) (the titanic then proceeds to sit in the corner with a very self satisfied grin, you know the titanic is only here to prove its the big boat on campus and to make all the small boats feel shame in their stature)
- can i be in your divorce selfie?
- id like to file a claim against “dereklaserbeam” for the “amber welcome thread”. it has been months and no one called amber has posted. im not even sure they will post ever
- *eats farmer straw* 2019 be lookin fine and pretty it do be
- this thread is a disaster. jerry (a moderator of this forum!) will see this and probably ban you all for life
- *sniffs* yo,, wow bro.. think someoens shit in this thread? like totally you can smell it.. . a guy shit in this thread someone should clean this up?
- now do the states of matter!!
- i saw a woman once and she was a marine and she kicked my ass
- dreamed i sneezed and died and then i woke up. ive just sneezed so ill update you all on my own impending death as the day progresses
- "i like to bloard from the 'world 1-2 warp zone' what video game character am i?" [img]https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/565160578671337473/TM6fttP4.jpeg[/img]
- this map isnt even correct wtf? this country is labelled "lesbian" but its really called australia [img]https://i.imgur.com/TFU4CKa.png[/img]