They'd matched on a dating app. She was immediately captivated by his bio and profile pic. He was witty, clever, and it seemed like he had his life together.
He had an unusual face. Not traditionally beautiful, but handsome, in a workmanlike sort of way: the word "Bloard", in blue. She was taken by it.
She agreed to meet him at a Starbucks. 2pm on a Thursday.
It was nearly full when she entered, and so she had to scan all the male faces in the room to match the picture from his profile.
There he was, at a table for two in the corner.
As she crossed the room, she found herself nervous. Butterflies. Unusual. She'd dated enough recently to not take these things seriously anymore.
She sat down across from him.
"I'm--I'm Carly," she stuttered.
He nodded, smiled.
"Bloard," he said.
"Lol," she said. "You're so funny."
"Well, you know. Bloard."
She felt relieved. There was nothing to be nervous about.
"You're...you're even more attractive in person. Your face, I mean. The curve of the O. The hard, angular A."
She stopped herself. What was she doing?
"Sorry," she said. "I'm not crazy, I swear."
"Hey, no worries," he said. "It's bloard."
meatbot
- ya it's in the wrong bloard. i'm moving it.
- [img]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/61/f7/1c/61f71cac922c02eb1df3c99b5b9feb23.jpg[/img]
- I get 47 emails a day asking me to join focus groups, and I diligently fill out the survey every time, but all I even get in return is a link to goetse--no invite to the focus group. What are you doing right and I'm doing wrong?
- i wint to the gim for the first time of 2107 yesturday and my tits hurt now
- do i lift? ya, i lift. i fucking lift huge. daily. i do two-a-days seven days a week and i nap in the change room between workouts. i live at the gym. i'm homeless. what's that? i can't put my tent here? dude, GNC is a community. says in the newsletter. private property? c'mon.
- a dog hired me as it's service animal. i get fed fairly well and i have a twenty-by-ten foot "run" all for myself. my bed of old towels is washed once every fortnight. things are good for me.
- I still can't read. The doctors told me a piece of the drill bit broke off in my left parietal lobe. Whatever. The brain is a large organ and I get by well enough. I've been having Karl read my the collected works of American literary legend and canon stalwart Thomas Leo Clancy. I marvel at his prescience. For example, he predicted the time George W. Bush drove into a McDonald's ball pit while high on bathroom cleaner six full minutes before it happened. Remarkable.
- banana is a meat. you have to skin and gut it. i repeat: banana is a meat. i spent six weeks in the jungles of ecuador learning to hunt bananas with a man named josue, who was also oddly enough the uber driver that picked me up at the airport.
- hell is a real place and your mind the vehicle that will take you there. I OWN A 1990 MAZDA 3. LOL. be aware of problems such as faulty wiring and if your tires are going bald. be aware of them but do nothing because you can't afford to. the speakers blew out and now i have to use a battery operated "ghetto" blaster. i'm aware of this, too. i remain active by frequently having to push my 1990 mazda 3 to the nearest service station. i don't know if this will work for you but it is working for me well enough--my doctor says i am within the healthy weight range for a manatee. i had not earlier mentioned that i am an actual manatee and now apologize.
- w/c: 165lbs favorite exercise: the push up as i find it sculpts the tits with precision and humanity favorite oly lift: i don't know what that is sorry favorite lifters: the guy at the gym that walks like he's proud of a shit he just took favorite rep scheme: varied to keep me interested favorite accessory exercise: unironic medicine ball toss atg or hookgrip: i don't know atg diet: omnivore
- This is a spot to talk about and recommend books. Myself, I have never read a book, and welcome your suggestions. A problem I should first mention is that I cannot actually read. Whatever book you recommend for me should be rather basic. You might wonder how I am writing this, and I will tell you that it is by dint of happy accident alone. I was trepanning my friend Karl (long story) when the drill bit flew off and became impaled in my brain. Before this, I could not even write my own stupid ass hole name. Nor could I speak. I'm doing better now, thank you. So for me, please keep your suggestions simple. For yourselves, recommend and discuss whatever you like.