so i was downstairs in the kitchen, and i go over to the counter where there's a bottle of peanuts. i love peanuts. i eat way too many peanuts by the way, they make me fart, and i plan to cut down. anyway. so i go over to the peanuts and already as i'm reaching my arm out for the peanuts i know i'm also going to want a nice glass of ice-cold 'gua. but the peanuts are in my hand and i'm like okay well i'll just unscrew them right now so that later, after i've gotten the water, i will be spared the labor, and i won't have to worry about unscrewing the lid of the peanuts the whole time i'm pouring out the cold clear liquid we know as water. so i unscrew the lid and leave it perched on the top of the peanuts bottle. then i get the water and pour it and i set it down on the table. then i go back to the peanuts and well would you, would you fucking believe it i grab the peanut bottle by the lid, completely forgetting the time i already took to unscrew it, and the whole thing spills right over the edge of the counter. peanuts cascade everywhere, at least half a bottle. it's a large bottle. and i have to sweep up the peanuts and then i have to go over the floor with a soapy rag because you know how oily those peanuts are, and simply swiping a dry paper towel across the surface of the kitchen floor will not suffice, not for me anyhow. anyway i decided not to eat any peanuts.
