hehehe i'm back, and i see many new faces! new and old! lot's of funny funny pals, but remember the old days? the long paragraphs of sincerity,,, my first time with bloard was around seven years ago, wow! but i can't say bloard is my home, i rarely visit, and when i do i don't stay long. the members here, bloardies if you will, pull on me like waves. pushing away and pulling back. my bones broken and my bones tickled. the laughter and enjoyment i've gotten out of this niche community is truly amazing, and yet i am inconsistent. but i trust that this site will always be here, never changing in layout or simplicity. no, i can't call bloard a home, it would be disingenuous, as i have not spent enough time. what it is to me is a constant, that is the best way I can describe it. As I and my environment have changed so much and so unpredictably, bloard has always been a constant. this, i feel, is due in a large part because of my distance. as i am inevitably interconnected with my surroundings, and by this any change in either myself or my surroundings will profoundly effect the other. so being in relationship with anything ties it profoundly to myself and in this way ties it profoundly to the naturally unpredictable impermanence of any experience. In this way, perhaps it is not the faint racism or ableism that pushes me away, but my own desire to preserve bloard as an omni temporal refuge for myself. that bloard can't be associated with a time or place or emotion or experience that would anchor it in a specific time or state of my life, because I retain my distance with it. I come and go from bloard, but it remains. a tiny piece of the internet enough detached from myself to save it from the impermanence with which I experience my life. bloard is, to me, a stagnant wave that by it's own paradoxical nature pushes and pulls me. what is it to you?